On Starting: A New Year

It is a New Year. As you can imagine, here I am, sitting in my sweats, (sans underwear of course) knee high socks, and a hoodie sipping Champagne and rehashing the past year as well as planning for imminent success in 2019. Ok, so it's coffee, not Champagne, but I shook it up real good so there are so bubbles in it. So what does any good blogger do on New Years Day? Create a public goal list of things he wants to accomplish in the coming year of course! Then, by virtue of the internet, it will magically come true because, accountability!
Or, maybe not. 
Maybe I'd rather share the lessons 2018 taught me that I'm carrying into 2019. Maybe that's where this blog needs to go. But before I do anything, I need more coffee (insert ellipsis here to share a visual representation of time passing as I go fill up my monkey mug)...
2018 was a year of growth. Both personally and professionally. This isn't my professional page and I barely can stomach the laughter when my name and professional are used in the same sentence- I'm an overgrown, overqualified child. That being said, we will focus on the personal side to spare you all. 
In all seriousness I learned a lot of things about myself this past year. 
1. 35 isn't a death penalty: I'll be honest, I struggled with turning 30. Bad. Feelings of lack of accomplishment and unclear drive filled my mind. 35 was a little more gentle but I still struggled. I am a doer. And I rarely turn around to see what's been done, only what more there is to do. I'm not there yet. So, my mind likes to focus on the lack of accomplishment rather than the piles of success behind me. That being said, 35 has lots of promise. I feel more secure in me as a person, better as a dad, and a more qualified husband. 2019 will hopefully be a continuing trend of what I can do better, but also a celebration of who I am and where I am at in the here and now. 
2. "You've got this.": Seasons come and go in life. in 2018, we had lots of seasons of change. From a new baby to so many business changes you couldn't count, to struggles on the homefront both emotionally and physically. But there is something that I have found this past year: confidence. Nothing so far has killed me. And despite the nasty times, I found myself a way out and I survived and dare I say thrived. It is hard to see when you're in the mess, but there is not a doubt that 2018 helped me understand, "You got this."
3. I am okay with me: This day and age it's hard not to play a game of keeping up with the Jones's. Social media makes everyone's life look so damn good it's unbelievable. And honestly, my day to day, ain't that glamorous. It's a lot of damn work and fatigue and stress and arguing.  I catch myself wanting what others have. I catch myself resenting what I don't have rather than focusing on what I do have. And I think that's very normal. I saw folks who had a high school education make serious money while I am dripping in debt from school but highly over qualified.  I saw folks take trip after trip while I was glued to the business and work and felt guilty every day I wasn't present. I saw people falling in love over and over again and living their "best life"  while the wife and I hammered out the day to day and just barely kept it together with sweat blood and tears. I got to watch other peoples kids learn how to ride a bike, or read, or tie their shoes while mine still use training wheels and velcro (kid envy is a real thing parents, so beware). On the surface, it can get overwhelming to see and struggle with all the things you AREN'T. Especially with the kids. I want my kids to keep up. I don't want them to be left out because I failed to teach something as a parent. 
But I also need to step back and realize everything I have. And that is something 2018 taught me the most of- be grateful for what you have and be ok with you. And I am, I am ok with me. I have a ton of debt, but also a very fulfilling career. I have a kid who won't ride without training wheels but who can build legos and craves knowledge and books. My wife and I don't have a lot of photo worthy moments, but the best times with her are when we aren't camera worthy anyway.  So I appreciate the clarity of this year teaching me, "I am ok with me."

So, 2019, here we come. Lessons learned and carried forward. So for next year? What do I strive for? 
Of course, a better diet, exercise more, and have fun! 

Just kidding. For me, the biggest thing I want to work on is patience. With myself, my family, and my life. And yoga. Cause moving regularly is cool. 

What are your goals?
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